Tonight I wrote my "about me" page. I wrote it without thinking or even rereading it. Now that I am thinking about it, I probably should go reread it and at least made sure I spelled words correctly. I can do that another day and time. 

I wrote in my post to live, love and laugh. We all need to live by these 3 L's. I believe that if everyone can step back and just think about these 3 little words than we will all be a little happier. What do you think? I know I will be. I am going to make it my goal everyday to at least laugh uncontrobably once a day and tell everyone that I love that I love them at least 2 times a day. If I do these tiny little goals I believe that I will start to live the life that I have always wanted to live.

I am all about helping myself, my kids and others live the best life that they can. Life can be down right cruel on a regular basis, however it is up to us to make every situation into a positive one. I, myself need to work on this.

I have been feeling down lately. I have been feeling like I am all alone and I'm just going through life with my head in the clouds, just walking in a fog. But as tonight, I am not going to live like that anymore. I am going to survive by the 3 L'S..... LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH!!!

Last night and today I was browsing through blogs. I came along to this one article that really caught my attention. It's from http://www.positivityblog.com/ written Henrik Edberg. This article is all about having self -doubt and how to conquer it.

Self-doubt is really another form of self-destructing. The reason that I did not start a blog or website a long time ago is because I doubted that I could really do. Who wants to read what I have to say? I am not the most intelligent or the smartest person in the world, but do you know what? None of that really matters.

self-doubt comes from low self esteem. People telling you that you can not do something. It comes from being afraid of failure. Once you get past all those thoughts, you are on your way to rediscovering yourself and becoming a new and improved you.

What I did to overcome this bad habit, was I had to let go of how I felt people perceived me. The people that love me will love me regardless if I fail. The people that don't love me really doesn't matter to me, so what do I care how they feel about me. 

I also have to change my way of thinking. If I think that a situation is going to have a negative outcome then 9 times out of 10 that negative way of thinking will come to pass. You have to have an optimistic view point if you want a positive outcome. 

I think we all have those moments when we do not think something is going to work out. That little voice that we here is self-doubt. We need to get rid of that little voice. Scream higher than that voice and just believe that you can do it.

After years of blaming everyone in my life for things that have happened, I finally realized that I am in control of my own destiny.

For a long time I blamed my father for abandoning me. He is an alcoholic, and has ben for about 40 years, and hes not changing. He is a violent and abusive drunk. My mom finally left him when I was about 2. I also blamed my father for not being in my life, but what would my life have ben like if my father had been in my life? 

If my father reads this I would tell him "thank you"! The best thing he did for my mom and myself was to stop coming around. I can only imagine what life would have been like if he had stuck around. 

I am 33 mom and have only seen him a handful of times, I prefer it that way. He has never paid child support to my mother, mostly because he has never had a job. The last couple of times that I saw him he was drunk. All I can say to him is good riddance, he can stay where he is and live the miserable life that he has been living. 

I don't hold any hard feelings and feel only pitty that he has never gotten his life together. This is my closure and no longer have any hard feelings. God Bless my father. 

My mother is the writer in the family. I'm hoping that I inherited some of her abilities. She writes poetry, short stories and songs. She is excellent in her abilities.

I am 33 and I am still not sure what I'm good at. I sort of go through life, not really enjoying anything. I decided that it is the time to actually start enjoying my life.

I have been through a lot in my life, just like everyone. Like I always say "if it is going to happen, it is going to happen to me". I am not sure if this is true or not but that's how it feels sometimes. 

I love writing but I'm not sure if I am good at it. But, you know what I don't care anymore. I want to write a book about my life. I feel like this will be the closure I need for a lot of what I have been through; and it is a lot easier than writing a traditional book. 

I feel like my story needs to be told. I know everybody has a story, some people I feel like they need to know that they are not alone; I need to feel like I am not alone. 

So, with all that said, welcome that a blog about my life!

A few days ago I posted an image. "Each day is another chance to change your life". This gave me the inspiration that I needed today.

I feel like people just go through life followed by rules and schedules. Fuck the schedules. Of course there are rules and schedules that you must obey, I am not saying totally screw it. I know you have to be at work on time and their are laws that you have to follow but on your downtime don't stick to what you normally do. Take time out to enjoy your life. On the weekends, don't spend it by cleaning or doing laundry, spend it by having a good time with family or friends. So something that will actually change your life. Do you want to learn a new language? Do it!! So you want to start a website? Do it!! Whats stopping you? Except your own mind.

Each new day is a chance for me to accept what happened yesterday and move on from it. I will make today better than it was yesterday!!