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I still find it amazing how many young children are exposed to sex every day. They see it in public, their homes, friends home, TV, movies and the internet. When young children are exposed to sexual activities at a young age it can have devastating effects on them. I am a prime example of that.
I remember one time, when I was about five, I was playing at a friend’s house right across the street from my own house. I played with this little girl all the time, we were the best of friends. This young girl had an older brother, which I think was around ten at the time. On this particular day he happened to have a couple friends over and they actually wanted to play with us, but being so young we didn’t know what would happen next.
The brother and his friends held us to a huge tree. While we were being held to the tree another friend tied us to the tree. We didn’t really understand what was happening, we just knew that we didn’t like it. After we were tied to the tree the boys pulled down both of our pants and underwear. I remember being very scared and not understanding what was happening. We were only five and we knew that this was not OK. I was never naked in front of anyone before except for my parents and the doctor. Luckily, my mother did tell me that no one should ever touch me in my “privates”.
With our pants down at our ankles, our legs were forced open and they took turns penetrating us with fingers and objects. I remember the boys laughing and us crying for them to stop. I do not know where the parents were or why we were alone. I often think about what makes kids act out in this way. Where did they learn this act? I will probably never know the reason they acted this way.
This went on for about an hour. One of the kids actually forced his penis in my mouth. I was confused, dirty and scared. Finally the boys let us go and threated us that if we told they would hurt us. This is what all predators tell their victims and we actually believed it.
I ran home and told my mother immediately. I remember her getting really upset, when she sort of calmed down, she took me to the hospital and the hospital called the cops. This is the first time that I had a rape kit done. This was a very traumatic experience for a child so young.
I do not know what happened with the boys because I never saw the kids or my best friend every again. We moved shortly after the incident. However, I will always be affected by this incident. Now that I am older, I realized that my first sexual experience was not normal and this could have impacted any and all my future sexual relationships.
The past is something that we all have to live with and I am just now learning to live with it. My past is my past and I refuse to let it rule my future.